Ok, so this is gonna be a freaking long post cos it’s been such a long time since I last wrote and a lot has happened. Let’s start chronologically.

Saturday: Varsity Voices 2009: Musica Moderna

Right, so last Saturday (21st Feb) was the choir concert. It was really great that the com had pushed back the meeting time cos I was like freaking tired. The day started out kind of bad cos I got baby powder in my eye. Omg! It was freaking uncomfortable. Thought I might not have been able to wear my contacts cos of it. But it cleared eventually. However, if I go blind, you’ll know why. Then, on the way to school, I had to stop to change bus right? The bus stop there was raining like heck. Got wet as I boarded the bus. As usual bad luck would have it, the rain cleared immediately after the bus left that stop. Grrr! To make bad luck worse, the weather was clear UNTIL the bus reached school where it was raining like heck yet again. Shared umbrella with Norma but still got soaked anyway. It was kind of embarrassing walking into the UCC backstage wet cos my Crocs made very very very loud squishing noises all through the corridors. I had to change into my orange skirt so that I could go dry my berms in the toilet. THEN! I discovered that the hand dryer in the toilet on my floor was not working! Had to trudge upstairs to use the toilet up there to dry them. :p

Anyway, there wasn’t too much rehearsal singing. Took some photos but couldn’t take much because, due to the later meeting time, there wasn’t much time to do anything except what was strictly necessary. We gathered, did warm ups, technical run through, then it was rush rush to go and eat dinner, change and make up for the night. Lucky me, I didn’t have to do my hair cos it’s so short already (all hail short hair!!) and I’m used to putting on the make up by now. There wasn’t as much chaos as there usually is, probably cos they separated the sections very small. As in, instead of all the Altos in one room, we split Alto 1 and Alto 2. And the rooms were the big dressing rooms too! Haha! I peeked into the Sopranos room – it was the small ones. So anyway, we had plenty of space. It was a very welcome change.

Then it was time for concert! Omg! Freaking excited. My last concert with the choir as an NUS student. Me was standing at the side this time instead of the centre like I usually do. That was nice. It was very much noticably cooler at the side than at the centre. I figured out why at every concert I’m usually drenched in sweat by the third song or so. It’s cos at the centre position, the lights are all focused there and that makes it so hot. Whereas at the side, it was very comfortable, so you could say this was possibly my most pleasant concert ever. Still couldn’t figure out Ecce though I think I managed to smoke my way through it. It was a full house, even opening up the circle seats. First half went well then it was rush backstage again to change for the second half. Again, there wasn’t much rush cos there was a lot of space and, surprise surprise! we were told we didn’t need to put on our heels for the second half. Could go on barefoot. Yay!! So we went on and sang. I think it went really well. Victoria JC and Victoria Chorale were our guest choirs and man were they good! VJ is like the best choir in SG lor!

Anyway, been hearing good stuff about the concert. Best compliment heard was that our repertoire didn’t put people to sleep as it usually would. Sumi our first half sacred pieces, saying that it had more feeling to it. The bro liked Kyrie, surprisingly. Daryl thought Kyrie ended too abruptly. I totally agree with him. I think Nelson shouldn’t have cut short that song. It just creates an anticlimax. Gloria had generally not too good reviews. Haha! No surprises there anyway, nasty song. The second half was also mixed. Daryl thought Five Hebrew Love Songs were good. Sumi thought the songs got a bit too monotonous after a while and thought the paper fluttering at Little Birds was cheesy. Oh well, blame Eric Whitacre. But Cloudburst had rave reviews all round. I loved Cloudburst too! I wanna do it again!!! The thunderstorm part was just fabulous.

Nelson thought we did really well and I agree with him. This is definitely the best concert I’ve had in four years and I can see how the choir has matured since I was year 1. Nelson complimented our This Marriage and was apparently crying during Linden Lea. I think Terrance was getting emotional too. He was standing with the basses while we sang it. Although I didn’t see it, I definitely felt the feeling behind Linden Lea. It was good. Pity this is the last concert though. Rumour has it that next year would be performed at the Esplanade cos it’s Varsity Voices’ 30th anniversary and Nelson has huge plans for it. It’s gonna be a blast! The Lalas were saying that we should come back and sing as alumni. That’s a really tempting thought. Oh well. We’ll see.

Sunday

Took a break on Sunday. Too sleepy to get up for morning mass, especially after the last few late nights from choir. Woke up at about 10 I think and watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang that we recoreded like a million years ago. It was a lovely show by the way. I really enjoyed it, despite that it took three whole hours. I think I’m doing too much Narrative Structures cos as I was watching the movie, I was thinking, omg, is this like for real or is it still part of the story that the father is telling his kids? Totally irrelevant questions, a product of my thinking too much. Didn’t do much on Sunday. Lazed around. Went to church in the evening. The evening mass choir is pretty interesting. They’re not good in the way of a pro choir but they’ve got interesting songs and are more or less in tune too. Haha! Then at night, watched The Pianist on Okto. Finally got round to watching that. It was… disturbing? I’m not sure what’s the right word for it. Didn’t really like it. But no denying it was a powerful movie. And I was mesmerised by the piano playing. Can human fingers really move so fast?

Tuesday

Monday I was supposed to start work but I didn’t so there’s nothing much to talk about. Basically I did nothing on Monday, something which I regret now.

Tuesday went to the Science Centre with some of the EL people. That was fun. Saw a chick hatching! Went to the magic exhibition too and saw a magic show there. The magician was being freaking cheesy. Wonder how he did all his tricks. Then there was this exhibition called iSpace (I think). It had all these really really REALLY cool gadgets like new media stuff. Futuristic stuff. We saw a computer thingy like Minority Report. You know, when Tom Cruise was using his hands to control the screen rather than a mouse.

Went for the Ash Wednesday mass. Not quite Wednesday, it’s the one on Tuesday. Anyway, that was normal. Nothing much to report except the damn communion minister poked my eye when he was doing the anointing of ashes thing and he didn’t apologise or anything. What the freak!

Wednesday

Wednesday was a fun day!! Went to Sentosa with the girls. We were supposed to meet at Harbourfront at 9 but by the time everyone arrived and got started was 10. :p $39 for the package thing. We took the new Sentosa Express over. It was a bit depressing having to pass by all the construction before we actualy got to the island. First stop was the beach! Omg! The beach is so beautiful and clean. Such a huge difference from East Coast. The only other place I saw such clear water was in Pattaya. The water as so nice and cool. But as usual, the presence of construction work marred the scene. Saw a few cute ang moh guys too. After the beach we walked over to Fort Siloso where there was a photo taking frenzy. Haha! Duan was having fun with the sephia setting on her camera. Mine was colour all the way. Had fun at Fort Siloso, not just taking pictures but exploring the place. The ‘underground’ tunnels were spooky and especially since me had been watching ghost videos on youtube which more than once talked about ghosts at old forts. There was this outdoor place too that had swings and stuff that looked like the Outward Bound school stuff. Played there for quite a while.

After we had tramped all over Fort Siloso – well, not exactly all of it, we were a little pressed for time. We made our way over to the central area for lunch. Walked through the Nature Walk. That was a disappointment. It used to be really nice, with sculptures of dragons and mythological creatures but I think they were doing refurbishing so there was nothing to see. The only ‘dragon’ we saw was covered in a brown sack cloth with plants on it. And it started to drizzle so we all took out our umbrellas and trudged through the mud. TY looked like Lara Croft in her all shorts and tank top and wide belt. Haha! We had lunch at Subway after we finally made it out of the jungle. Then went for the 4D Magix show. It was a 3D pirate show with an extra twist. They had these gadgets or something that simulated the environment that was happening on the screen. Like when they were showing scenes on board the ship, a cold wind would be blowing. Or when the pirate got attacked by hundreds of crabs, there was this whipping thing at our legs. That was scary at first. It really felt like hundreds of crabs were nipping at us. It was scary also when there were scenes of the bees and bats cos the 3D effect made it look like it was right there in front of us. Loved that one.

Then we went to the Butterfly Park. That was nice. There were so many colourful and pretty butterflies flying around the area. Lots of photo opportunities. I think the best part was was a butterfly landed in Duan’s bag. Then going back inside, there was this ‘museum’ place we walked through that showed us about the butterflies and *shudder* other insects. We had an impromptu lecture at the exhibit where they were showing about gynandromorphism (I think that’s how it’s spelt).

See the middle butterfly? The one whose wings were a split between the one on the right and the one on the left? Pity the picture isn’t too clear. I didn’t realise I was using the outdoor setting instead of the indoor one until much later. We were all actually really curious about this split look of the butterflies. But then a worker at the park came and explained it to us. It’s actually pollution that caused it. So he went on to treat us to a long lecture about the hazards of pollution and the merits of clean pure healthy living. Apparently the one in the middle is a freak, neither male nor female and it’s a genetic dead end. It cannot survive in the world cos of it’s gender confusion and something about it being messed up inside. The guy was saying that it’s a sign of extinction. Pollution causing these freaks of nature and if there are to many, it means that extinction is imminent. He claims that that’s what happened to the dinosaurs too. This strange splitting that caused the genetic line to die.

So, after a lecture about pollution, we went to the Carlsburg Sky Tower. Or Tiger Sky Tower, I don’t remember which one it is now. That was alright. Went for it before so it wasn’t anything new to me. It was just a 50 storey high observation tower that rotated round and we took photos and all. It was getting pretty late by then so we just decided to go. Took the cable car. Ok, so that really freaked me out cos I really don’t like heights, especially when it’s so unsecured as travelling in that little metal box so high up. But I survived.

Went over to TY’s place for cup noodles for dinner and for the lemon chocolate cheesecake tart that she made. She’s really such a talented baker I think. Saw a rainbow as we were walking to her house and that was just lovely. It was a full arc rainbow too. Pretty! Played with her dogs for a while. Still trying to convince my parents to get a dog, especially since TY was tongue in cheek (I hope) talking about how she’d love to give away one of her dogs. Haha! Poor little Creamy. I’d take her if I could but mum’s still scared of dogs.

Thursday

Had to go back to school on Thursday cos Lionel wanted to give a test. :p Sucky. For the record, I did study. Even if I didn’t study that much, I did know my stuff. But, the test really sucked cos it was focused on just one reading. The Rip Slyme one. Means that if, like me, I only know sketchy details and not indepth argument of what happened there, I probably wouldn’t do too well. Smoked my way through it. Hope it worked out though. After the test, went to photocopy Haegeman’s book for Syntax. That’s such a pain. Don’t know why Kim doesn’t just order in the damn book. Anyway, I probably wouldn’t pay $50+ to get the book that I’m only going to use for a few months and never touch again in my life. Haha!

It rained again as I was going home. When I was changing bus at Macpherson road area, this damn woman… grrr… It was already raining heavily and the tendency for everyone is to board the bus as quickly as they can. Now the bus entrance, there’s a divider separating the right and left side to enter. So this woman was next to me and I assumed, based on her position, that she would be using the left side to enter. So me took a step forward to enter on the right side. This woman changed lane in the last minute and blocked me, leaving me standing in the rain to get wet whilst she took her own sweet time digging for her card. Damn! I hate that! Have some bloody consideration for other people lah!! I ‘tsk’ really loudly but I don’t think she heard.

Watched Fellowship of the Ring at night. Been wanting to watch that for a while now. I think I also want to buy a soft cover copy of LOTR too. I’m afraid to read my hard cover copy cos pages are falling out. Anyway, FotR was nice. It’s my favourite of the three movies. Now when I watch it, I always remember flying back from London cos I watched it on the plane too. Got emotional at the end with Boromir’s death. That’s got to be one of the best scenes in the movie. I was noticing a lot of little details that I never noticed before too. Can’t remember what they are now but I know I noticed them. Was watching a blooper reel too on youtube. Very funny.

Friday

Friday I had to really get down and do some work. Can you imagine?? Suddenly it’s Friday!!! Omg!! Where did the week go??! And I hadn’t done anything to catch up with my work whatsoever. So, I did (or tried to do) my readings for Contact Ling. It was freaking boring and I think I skipped a lot. Think I’ll do badly in Mie’s weekly quiz. Tried to study a bit for Universe module too but didn’t get too far there.

Skimmed through Twilight movie in the afternoon. By skimmed through, I mean fast forwarding to bits that I like and skipping the rest. Haha! Such a freaking cheesy movie.

Then evening, went to the UCC to watch Eng Kwang’s Jazz Band concert with Norma and Sumi. It was fun. I think my knowing nothing about jazz contributed to my enjoyment of it. I’m always surprised that jazz is not just those background, cry into your alcoholic drink, music. I think it was slightly more fun that last year though. The singers weren’t too good when they were singing together though. They were better doing solos. But it as fun anyway and an enjoyable evening for me. I know the theme of the NUS arts festival is Arts and Environment but all the environmentalist references were completely disjointed from the repertoire and frankly, the concert wouldn’t have suffered any from omitting those references.

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So… I suppose that’s that. I’m kind of hoping that I’d get a move on with Syntax today but I doubt I’ll get very far. Not in the mood to study at all, least of all to study Syntax. Yucky thing. I’m kind of toying with the idea that I don’t really care about my CAP any more and what’s the damn point of struggling hard against the system that’s designed to make students do badly?

Oh well. That’s life. And if you want to see more photos of those events above, go check out Facebook. My inbox has been flooded (literally) with millions of notifications from FB about photo tags and comments. It’s really annoying. Haha!

Finally, after months and months and months of hard work, it’s almost time for concert!!!!! Omg! So exciting. My last VV with NUS choir. Oh the nostalgia. Pity all my friends back from year 1 are gone. People like Dharini, Mei Si and Felicia. I know there are still people around, like Jun, the Lalas, Adyll, Xue Fang. All the survivors of our time. VV has definitely evolved a lot since my first year. I think this year’s gonna be the coolest EVER! I totally agree with SH’s comment on FB that it’ll be such a freaking shame to miss it. Kudos to Nad and her team for doing such a great job. Gonna bring my camera today, hopefully can capture some memories.

Had the rehearsal last night. I think it went pretty well. Not going to give away spoilers for the concert. Apart from the actual repertoire, I think the most exciting bit of last night was actually Nelson falling off stage. Not that I should derive any pleasure from the poor man’s pain but it was something. The lights all went off and apparently he was trying to walk around the MC mic stand but he didn’t know it was the edge of the stage and BANG! fell off. All the house lights went up and we got a shock to see Nelson lying on the floor. At least he was still laughing with this ‘what the heck just happened’ expression. Hope he’s ok. Else he’ll be conducting the concert from a high stool instead.

The Altos got split into 2 rooms this time. Very nice! The rooms are BIG! means we each get our own dressing table and mirror. Don’t have to fight for space like we usually do. Haha! But we’re stil down in the basement, which means that there’s no cellphone reception except in the toilets. Strange the way UCC blocks coverage.

Ok, so now for the other stories.

Anyway, rehearsal ended relatively early. 9.30pm. By the time we cleared up and left UCC was about 9.45. Went to the bus stop to wait for 151. And waited and waited and waited. It was freaking 10.30pm by the time the bloody bus arrived. We were pretty much pissed and very much considering bus driver abuse in the form of whackings and renditions of Gloria. But I think the bus driver was suitably apologetic (although his excuse so did not hold water) and did his best to squeeze everyone up onto the bus. 3 buses were supposed to have arrived, so he had to squeeze up 3 bus loads of people into 1 bus. The excuse for the late bus was so lame. He was like, oh there was a 47 minute jam at Bukit Timah. And all of us were like, so?? This is the side that’s going towards Bukit Timah, not away from it. Even if he claims there was no available vehicle (which would have been a legitimate excuse) that also didn’t work because in the 45 minutes we were standing at the bus stop waiting, 3 buses passed on the other side of the road. We were saying to ourselves, SBS can keep their 2 cents fare cut. Just give us better service!! People do want to get home before midnight you know!

I saw someone using ipod touch in the bus last night and I had an epiphany. Do I really need an iphone? Can an ipod touch actually perform the same function? I don’t really need the phone. I just like the functions of an iphone. Of course, I can still use my normal cellphones. The ipod touch can use the net and act like a PDA, can it? And, in the long run, it’s cheaper than the iphone. Hmm… going to go research that. Anyway, I’m still undecided between the iphone and the Samsung F480. Simply cos the F480 is cheaper and can do more (so i heard). Argh!!! Hate being so indecisive. Of course, I suppose I should wait till I’ve got enough money first then worry about the decision.

I skimmed through the newspaper today (yes, it’s an event, me reading the newspaper). Saw this thing about someone being brought to trial for having sex with an underage prostitute. And the question the reporter asked was, who’s more at fault, the pimp or the client. And I was thinking, why is no one blaming the girl??? She may be underage but she’s bloody 17. Old enough to know that what she’s doing is illegal. Of course, this is assuming she wasn’t forced into it by the pimp (I don’t have details of it). And she was a prostitute, which means she made a choice to do so, knowing that she’s only 17. Why is it that no blame seems to be going to her? What does the law say about the consequences of underage sex with regards to the minor? Do they get off scot free? Obviously the girl has a major role to play in this situation. This reminds me of the argument I saw on my friend’s blog a while back about abortion. If abortion is wrong and is made illegal, what are they going to do with the women who undergo abortion? Do they send these women to jail for breaking the law and undergoing an abortion? If anti-abortionists claim abortion is murder, do these women then get death penalty for commiting murder? If there are no consequences, then what’s the point of making abortion illegal in the first place?

Ok. I forgot what else I wanted to say. Haha! So I guess I’ll end it here.

So it’s always the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Whatever that means. Today on the bus back home I felt like I’ve reached this point where I usually need to have a nice long rant on my blog about how much life sucks.

I guess it all started with this morning in EWL class. Well, maybe not quite started, but let’s say the cracks began forming then. We were talking about language ownership and whether anyone can really claim to have ownership of English in the context of English being such a global language and all that. So the article we were supposed to read dealt with Eurasians in Singapore and how they want English to be their Mother Tongue but the government refuses. Anyway, the class started out fine. Me and the year 4s were joking around till Wee came along and started class and that was fine too. He was in a pretty good mood, cracking jokes and all. Had the class laughing. Had nice long discussions about the topics. Then we were began the actual topic of language ownership and the year 3s were giving examples and stuff. It was ok for a while then it started to get very very repetitive and slightly irrelevant at times. Then this year 4 guy that’s notorious for this kind of stuff started talking. I’ve heard that he’s got this ‘talent’ for doing things like that but I never really noticed it till now. First, he made this long comment and gave his own example which ultimately was just a rephrasing of someone else’s earlier example. Then when Wee called him out on that – told him that that’s exactly what they were trying to illustrate – this guy changed tactics and in the end, rephrased the original question. Omg. At least Wee didn’t pander to him like Lazar did sometimes. Then the class went on to discuss the topic of the article and about the Eurasians and the bilingual policy in Singapore. Then there was this girl who suddenly (I don’t really remember what led up to it) made this comment about how she thinks that the whole issue of ethnicity is problematic anyway and starts questioning what it is to be an Eurasian and asking whether people of other mixed parentage can be considered Eurasians also. What pissed me off I suppose was that her tone was exactly “This is what I think and I don’t care what anyone else thinks”. And what definitely definitely pissed me off was that she got into this whole pointless debate over the definition of an Eurasian and ethnicy and race. What the hell! It’s supposed to be a linguistics class, not sociology. Go debate ethnicity there!

Yeah, the year 3s annoy the hell out of me. I don’t know why. They just do.

Anyway, meanwhile, went to the honors room where there was thankfully some of the year 4s goofing around in there. I suppose I wasn’t in the best of temperaments. Last night I attended a meeting in church where I (as a representative of my organisation) got quite vehemently scolded by another member of the meeting. Sure, he was totally justified in ranting and clearing his system of his anger at us. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t irritate the hell out of me, especially when I’m not one of the guilty parties. At least, to the best of my knowledge, I’m not. I’m not responsible for what other people in my organisation (or associated with my organisation) do. But as the representative there, I just kept quiet and took the damn scolding already. Experience tells me that if I just shut up and let him rant on, it’ll be over much more quickly than if I try to contradict him. I don’t know how come I end up taking the blame for a lot of stuff around here. Like the upset over carolling, or whenever the slides screw up. How come I’m like a magnet for people to complain to? I’m getting really tired of trying to play hero everytime people want one. It’s tiring and it’s not like I’m particularly religious or whatever. I’m getting really really sick of all this.

Talking about not being in the best of temperaments, I’m still a bit put off by the other day’s 3211 presentation. I really hate it that I couldn’t have done better. It really wasn’t my best and I feel that me and my group mate was so unprepared. I guess, after Lazar’s one hour presentation last year, I’ve grown kind of used to doing it on my own but with material that I know well enough. It was a tough class this time. I don’t know the people. Don’t know what makes them talk or not. And being the third group of the day to present was not good. People get bored, especially since we had a quiz about the readings and basically, they know everything they already need to know. It was just a waste of time.

And I wanted to stargaze but I couldn’t cos it wasn’t quite safe where it was dark enough to see stars and it wasn’t dark enough, nor enough sky space where it was safe to stare at the sky. Irritated cos I really wanted to try and see the constellations we’ve been learning about in Astronomy.

Then choir. Today was exhausting. On one hand, I wish I could’ve skipped it. Gone out with the EL-ers and drink. On the other, I couldn’t have skipped cos I’m really so far behind. They had auditions during the sectionals. I had to sing a section of Requiem and Little Birds. Little Birds went ok but Requiem… I’m really disappointed with myself. It didn’t help that that part I was asked to sing was just the bit that was a little out of my range. So my voice started warbling and shaking and… like I said, I was very ashamed of myself. I’m supposed to be the most senior of them all and I don’t understand why, after all these years, I still can’t rely on my voice to stay good when I need it to be. Nelson came down and did combined for the first half songs. It was ok. Still don’t know how the hell I’m going to memorise it all by next week. After Nelson left, we all got scolding from Nad about discipline and what have you. And we had to stay till 10 to finish the auditions, regardless if you’d already been auditioned or not. After that, they had us all go outside and sing birthday song for someone. I’m not in a reasonable mood at the moment. Choir was supposed to officially end at 9.30pm. That’s what I signed up for. I allow that when we’re in a fix like we are now, it’s ok to extend until 10pm. But like just now, it went all the way till 10.30pm with no sign of stopping – I just walked away, the rest of them were still playing and hanging around – that’s just too much. For the record, this is my blog and I’ll be as unreasonable and selfish as I like on it. Just because you may live in and around the school doesn’t mean everyone else does. Just because you can afford to take a cab or drive doesn’t mean everyone else can. Just because you don’t have class the next day doesn’t mean other people don’t have too. Just because you can get by with 3 hours of sleep per night doesn’t mean everyone else can. I know the choir folks are trying to be nice but there has to be a limit. Some people have to worry about catching the last bus home, worry about an early morning class, worry about not having eaten dinner. I don’t mind staying back to perfect the singing. But there was nothing of the sort. The singing finished at 9.40pm and the rest of the time was wasted waiting for the auditions to finish and then for this asinine thing. I’m sorry SH, it’s not your fault, and Happy Birthday (if you’re reading this).

So I rushed off and caught the 10.30pm bus back. The last time I caught that late bus was 2 years ago when I was still in the choir committee and having to stay back for meetings and all. At least the bus was empty so I had a seat to myself. Which was good cos I was balancing my heavy bag (yet another cause of annoyance. There’s really nothing in it that explains why it’s so heavy), my file and my laptop. There wasn’t much to complain about the 151 really. It was really fast and I reached Macpherson a while before 11pm. It was the bus back into the estate that pissed me royally. From a distance, I thought it was full cos it looked like there were people all squished up front and I resigned myself to having to do acrobatics to keep my balance and keep my laptop from crashing to the floor. But as the bus pulled up the bus stop, I was royally pissed to see that the congestion in the bus was in the first quarter of the bus. The remaining 3/4 of the bus was fucking empty! Omg. I wish I was the type that doesn’t feel shy about showing her feelings. I was so tempted to yell “Move the hell in!!!!” Not that it would have made a difference I think. It was some Indian foreign worker and some China looking girl with a huge suitcase blocking the aisle. Anyway, I managed to push my way in but the other guy who had boarded the bus with me was left standing on the steps. Omg. Can’t the bus driver do something? He’s the one with the legitimate authority to order people to move in. And it was OBVIOUS that people really needed to move in. I know he knew about it. I saw him surveying the situation. What kind of thing is this? Even if it’s late and he wants to get moving soon, it’s still his job isn’t it? Even if it’s not explicitly stated in his job description, doesn’t he think it’s only right to ask people to move in, especially when there’s plenty of room and means that someone standing on the steps might have some place solid to hang on to when the bus moves? Don’t know what the bus company does with the money we pay them. Service gets worse and worse each day.

And I’ve been feeling rather left out the last few weeks. Not that I didn’t have a hand in it myself. But for when someone agrees to something then behind my back does something else and I find out, and it excluded me when they orignally agreed to include me… I’d say never mind but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to think about it. To be excluded because I’m not one of the ‘in’ crowd. I don’t dress in fashion, I’m not top honours student, I’m not witty or clever, I don’t drink or hang out in clubs. It’s upsetting to know that maybe because I always turn down the invitations, they don’t bother to include me anymore. I mean, you know, I may say no, but it’s always nice to just ask. Makes me feel less unwanted in a way.

I’m stressed out and it’s not even the time of the semester when stress starts kicking in yet. Now if you’d excuse me, I’m off to go cry myself to sleep and count the hours till I have to make myself wake up and put on a happy face for the rest of the world.

Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that's quite a different subject
But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad
You're gone and I'm hurtin' so bad
Like a clown I pretend to be glad

Now there's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown, when there's no one around
Uh hum, oh yeah baby

Now if I appear to be carefree
It's only to camouflage my sadness
And honey to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don't let my show convince you
That I've been happy since you
Decided to go, oh I need you so
I'm hurt and I want you to know
But for others I put on a show, ooh yeah

Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the public eye
But in my lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown
When there's no one around, oh yeah, baby baby
Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you think that I don't care
When really I'm sad…I’m hurting so bad…

Well. Been quite a week for me. Someone please explain to me why when things happen, they all happen at once and when things don’t happen, nothing ever happens?? I just cannot understand this aspect of life.

This week for instance. Worked for 2 days doing data entry. It was quite interesting really. The first day was super tiring cos got stuff from all over the world and yeah, after I was done, I really felt like I took a whirlwind tour of the world. The second day was easier. Less data to go in and I guess I got the hang of it at last. So, yeah, that was fun. I liked the company too. It was miles better than the previous one I did. Maybe cos this one the job was within my league and not overwhelmingly overwhelming. Anyway, the people in the office here are nicer and friendlier.

And then there was Janice’s 4th birthday. That girl ah…4 years old already but still behaving like a two year old. Aiyo!! Her friend Chloe came too and oh my god those two girls are so different. The biggest difference I noticed is that Chloe speaks English properly and she knows how to switch between English and Mandarin and with whom to speak which language. Wow! That’s chim stuff man! Of course, both girls are super naughty and mischievous which led to a very tiring evening when they were here. Even though I retired (read: escaped) back to my room upstairs, it was still very tiring having them in the house.

Then, for some strange reason, Dad decided to bring the DVD player upstairs and then bring it back down and then it didn’t work. The ENTIRE week Mum kept nagging me to fix the DVD player and I kept insisting that there’s nothing I can do about it cos it ISN’T PLUGGED IN in the first place and that’s Dad’s problem. My problem is software, not hardware. But as usual, no one believed me. So, yesterday, Andrew came back and we pulled the TV out and first thing I did was check the cables and true enough, I WAS RIGHT!!! Ha. Ha. See! If they listened to me sooner, they’d have gotten their DVD player back up sooner. Whatever.

Went out for lunch with Sumi on Thurs. Had that new KFC meal thing. The shrimp nugget was very interesting. I don’t know. It was tasty but it felt like something was lacking. I don’t know what. Then walked around a bit then went to Cafe Cartel for really sinful chocolate brownie dessert. I had Oreo milkshake too. Haha! Must’ve gained 2kgs that day at least. LoL! Oh well, I don’t really care.

Gotten the results for my Module Preference. Oh my god. My modules next sem SUCK big time. I hate being an E.Lang major. EL4205 Discourse of Argumentation, EL4880 Topics in E.Lang (Systemic Functional Grammar), EL4252 Interactional Discourse, EL4254 Language, Ideology and Power. All freaking discourse modules lah!!! *sobsobcrycry* And what’s worse, I had NO CHOICE in it. These are the ONLY 4 4000 level EL modules offered next semester except for thesis and ISM which I doubt I qualify for. Life sucks doesn’t it? I am NOT looking forward to next sem at all. One more module I can choose to take. I wanted to take that physics module about Einstein and Quantum Weirdness. But I apparently don’t qualify for it. Cos I didn’t have O-Level physics. I have O-Level Sub-Physics which apparently isn’t the same. Fucking hell. I had a freaking A1 for my sub science back then lor. But what’s the bloody use?!! My freaking secondary school screwed up my future. Yes, I am still sore about that even though it’s been 6 years since O Levels. So anyway, I’m thinking of taking Intro to Cybercrime. It sounds interesting. Should I? With such boring major modules, I should take something that seems vaguely interesting or else go completely bonkers next semester.

Anyway, today had the AABC (All American Boys’ Chorus) concert. We were one of the guest choirs. The other choir was the NUS High choir. That was a fun performance. Haha! When we went out on stage for rehearsal, it was so awkward. I think for me, it was the first time I was stepping onto the UCC Hall stage as NUS Choir and the stage wasn’t ours. Interesting. AABC didn’t use the sound boards either so there was absolutely NO echo from the hall AT ALL. It was damn super dry. And we didn’t warm up so it was pretty bad sound. AND AABC had their own unique stage set up – mics all over the stage and risers and speakers. And these equipment could not be moved. So, we had to stand in front of it all in order not to knock into them when dancing Luk Luk. (Oh yeah, we did Lily and Luk Luk.) That was another unique experience cos we’d never been so close to the edge of the stage before. Really. One more step and we’d be off the stage and in the audience. We were THAT close. So yeah, it was pretty fun. Luk Luk was rushing like mad and so hard to breathe but it went well. Heard NUS High Choir. Um…well, it’s not really a choir, more like a vocal ensemble. They did “You Raise Me Up”. One male solo and the rest were all girls doing back up. Oh and a pianist. I’m sure the male solo was trying his best but…*cringe* he cracked the high notes, sang super nasal and went sharp. Yeah well, I think it’s a relatively new choir so they did quite well, especially in such a high tone performance as AABC.

AABC itself seemed quite interesting. From Orange County, Southern California. Couldn’t see them except when they were backstage (really cute little ang moh boys btw). But I heard them rehearsing cos whatever’s on stage is sent through PA system to backstage. They were singing really old school songs. Like they sang “Shenandoah”, and “America the Beautiful” and one more that I can’t remember but when they sang it, me and Alicia glanced at each other and started commenting on how old that song was. They opened their concert with “Be Our Guest” from Beauty and the Beast. CooL!! I kind of regret not buying their ticket but I doubt I could afford it. $16 lah. Where got that kind of money? And could only watch the second half cos we were performing in the first. The boys were really cute. They were sitting backstage and waiting for their turn to go up and they had little notebook things and they were sketching and doodling and reading stuff. So cute!! Haha! It must be so fun, going overseas to sing concerts like that. I think there was an ambassador or someone important there cos when I left the UCC, there was a BMW parked outside with 2 flags (one US flag and the other don’t know what) stuck on it.

Winnie’s birthday today. Well, a lot of birthday’s these days in choir. July must’ve been a good month for babies. Winnie’s…we tried to do a surprise for her. Pei Min and Mich were pretending to be really really angry and gave the altos a good scolding in our dressing room. And they singled out Winnie for being late. So, scold scold scold. Then PM said go and pack up and told Winnie that some of her stuff was in the cupboard. So she opened it and out popped Wei Zheng with a card that said, “Just Kidding!” and her birthday balloons. She was so surprised. She really thought they were seriously scolding her. Haha! We are so evil. Harris’ birthday too on Thursday. We also surprised him. We had a cue and at the end of Luk Luk, instead of yelling “Hoya!” we yelled his name instead. He was so shocked and then Adyll came in with a McDonald’s apple pie ‘cake’. Haha! Yeah. These were fun days with the choir.

So, why the strange title for this post? I’ve used this phrase a lot of times before I think. But it’s really true isn’t it? Life is so cruel, crazy and beautiful. You feel tortured and suicidal at times, you think it’s such a crazy world and things going on in it that you don’t understand but there are also moments that make life so beautiful and great.

Disclaimer: The contents of this post are my personal opinion and don’t reflect on anyone else and is not intentionally defamatory or insulting to anyone involved.

Well, yesterday’s 9am mass went smoothly. Attendance seemed to increase closer to 10am though. Lol! There were 2 bats hanging outside the choir room. Cute little bats. FK took a badminton racket to whack them down and give them to someone to make soup with though. LoL! We finally can use the air con in the room again, thank god. The place is boiling without it. Anyway, was in church by 8am to warm up. It went ok but don’t know why my voice like must constantly sing. The minute it falls dormant for a while it gets un-warmed up again. Sucks. Or maybe cos I just didn’t do my little visualisation exercise that I used to do and so froze a little at the stand. Anyway, I think I could have sung better.

Ronald had put together his choir again for 10.30am. Interesting. But you know what’s getting me a little ticked? Isn’t it bad enough that we were relegated 9am without anyone asking us – and btw, looking at the 10.30 choir yesterday, none of them lives far away what!!! Unless Ronald and his wife, cos I don’t know where they stay. Anyway, mum had to attend 10.30 mass too and she was inevitably comparing choirs. And sad to report that she said that Ronald’s choir is FAR better than ours. Come on people! We have to improve ourselves!!!! The church has changed since 2 years ago. We can’t still be at the same standard we were 2 years ago!!!) But you know what made me really really ticked off? Mum reported that FK is going to make 10.30 the main mass. It feels like he’s just brushing us aside again. I mean, Ronald was the one who left the Sunset mass in a lurch years ago when he decided to quit because he argued with the wardens, thereby forcing Paul and Val to step into his place and build their choir from scratch. Why is FK favouring him? We were the main mass choir before. We stuck around and did our duty and tried not to antagonise anyone and tried to do more than our duty (LC and all that). It kind of hurts that we seem to be brushed off like this again (first time was with the youth group, whole other story). I’m fine that we don’t get credited or what but at least acknowledge our presence as church entities for a while. You don’t have to sing our praises – all that gaining merit crap that young people find hard to swallow because of the nature of the world these days. The very least you could do was ask our opinion regarding this. Not only did you not do that, you told us to lay off (read: kick out) our members who are in the cathecism classes because it’s not their fault that their class times clash with church time.

I don’t know. This new timing sucks logistically too. There’s only one room and two choirs who need to use the room. We get the room before mass and after mass. Our practice is after mass. Say we start around 10.30 cos the other choir needs the room for warm ups and all that. No problem. At around 12, the other choir also wants the room for their practice and we have to give it up whether we’re done or not. 1.5 hours is not enough to learn anything much, especially when it’s one ‘teacher’ to at least 10 of us. I feel like it’s too touch-and-go. Of course, compared to what Narisa told me about her choir only having 20 minutes to practice, 1.5 hours seems good but, Narisa’s choir is also good enough to perform a classical mass. Are we to that standard?

You could say I’m a tad jealous. There, I admitted it. We were the best. But I’m not so sure any more. Anyway, point is, Jubilate choir is getting complacent. We’re falling back into being a bunch of karaoke champions but not choristers. Something has to be done, though I don’t know what yet. I really think we need to brush up (read: improve by leaps and bounds) our vocal techniques. We’re trying but I think that at this point, we’re focusing on the wrong things. This is a CHOIR. What’s important is the singing and the music. Everything else is secondary. Btw, I’m a little ticked about something we discussed at the meeting just now. I thought just now (but couldn’t explain myself so I didn’t say it) and still think that we should not background vocal training as a primary objective of the camp. It should be high up on our objectives. None of us practice outside of practice time (well maybe 99% of us don’t, I’m sure) so the only time we can do anything choir-ish is during choir time.  Vocals are THE most important part of a choir. I tried to teach techniques 2 years ago but obviously they aren’t being utilised anymore (which ticks me off too cos they really do help). Bonding and all that is nice but it’s not the most important thing. If we make that the most important thing then we might as well be the youth group. We should not compromise on being a choir just so that we can all be BFF. And I’m sorry I’m saying this only now on my blog if you people are reading this. It’s just that the reflections brought up this thought with me.

As a chorister, I am very very vexed when I’m told my choir is not sounding good. And face it, I’ve been denying it for a while now but I know that our choir is moving backwards. Unfortunately because I stepped down as leader, it isn’t my place to insist on anything like that. I promised myself 2 more years with this choir then I’ll stop worrying about them and go join something else to worry about. 10 years is more than enough for me to take. I’ve given what I can to this choir already. I may feel like I want to give more but I can’t. Technically I know I have more to give but I don’t know how to give it and that’s my problem. I can’t tell if they’re singing flat or sharp or wrong placement or wrong technique or whatever. I don’t know how to teach them the way Wei Wei/Yan Ting/Terrance/Adyll/Ruben taught me. (Notice I didn’t say Nelson because I didn’t learn much from Nelson these three years except how to show up at the right times and be nitpicky about stuff) So what that I’m in NUS Choir? I’m not the best singer there. Heck, I may even be one of the worse. Stop comparing! It’s frustrating. And here I go, worrying about Jubilate Choir again. Dang.

Oh look. What I wanted as a short post turned into a thousand word rant about church and choir. Didn’t mean for that to happen but it happens. One thought leads to another and…well, you see the result above.

To other news. Omg! I can’t believe there’s only 2 weeks more to Russia!!!!! It feels surreal. It feels like there’s like a lot of time. 2 more weeks and we’ll be off. Ohmygod!!!!!! So excited!!!! Haha! I guess we’re kind of ready, assuming that we don’t pull another thing like we did on Saturday. Oh yeah, MJ choir’s flying off to Olomouc tomorrow. Why didn’t we have such nice things during my time huh? All we went to was Genting Highlands Malaysia. Which wasn’t bad. It was just…Genting Highlands Malaysia. Anyway, I’m really glad I get to go somewhere with NUS choir. Hope MJ does well.

Clay’s in ‘trouble’ again. By the looks of things, he was leaving an event when a paparazzi guy stuck a camera in his face and kept asking questions about the baby. And it looked like Clay put out a hand and covered the lens of the camera. Of course, for all we know he might have smacked the camera such that it broke or something but I don’t know. And the board’s buzzing about how Clay ‘attacked’ a reporter – vented out his frustrations on him – something like that. Hmm…well. Clay, Clay. Whatever are we to do with you. You could have just said “No Comment” and walked away. But then again, it must have been hard and Clay could have been at the end of his tolerance so he ‘lashed out’ as it were. Oh well. I will not judge him for something that I think he must have been longing to do for a long time. Still waiting for a statement by the way, in case you’re reading this Clay. I’m still a fan no matter what. I came for the music and I’m still here cos of the music. The new cd’s great by the way. It’s really growing on me. I think it’s Clay’s best so far.

And I think that’s enough bitching for one night don’t you think? Go to sleepy soon and see what drama tomorrow will bring.

Omg. Me and Lily have got a horrible affinity I think. Today we did small group singing for choir. And sway sway me kena sing Lily. What da fuck! I H.A.T.E that song. It sucks. It’s horribly difficult to sing even in the full choir and there we were, 8 ppl – 1 part each, trying to sing it. We had to sing it twice cos we went completely off the first time.

Now why I say that it’s a horrible affinity is because this is the second time that I’m doing Lily in a competition AND it’s the second time that we’ve done small group that I kena-ed Lily. I still remember the first time, practicing in a PGP room and Hui Jun and Joanne were SLs and I was singing A1 part. They made us all sing in pairs and me got Lily. Forgot who else sang with me but I remember that I sucked at it.

Today, I concluded that Altos are inherently collective minded. As a whole section, there are times when we’re told we’re singing too loud. But, when we’re called upon to sing in solo/pairs, we fall to bits. Ok, not really to bits but we can’t perform to standard. It’s really strange.

Found a youtube video of it. That’s the composer Eric Whitacre conducting (apparently). His songs are all ghastly. A characteristic of it is horrible clashing chords. Lily isn’t too bad in that department. Thank god we’re not doing Waternight. I’d like to sing it someday but not for competition. The chords clash until it’s like…I can’t even describe. And it’s almost SSAATTBB all the way.

Well, Amplitude was fun. Quite a waste of time, but fun anyway. Don’t know why we had to come so early when we were sitting around in the tiny dressing room waiting for most of the time. Haha! Some of them went to the open house and brought back balloons and started playing with the helium. So funny! Heidi was so cute with her Britney Spears helium induced impersonation. And Adyll trying to sing his Qui Tollis (super bass part). Hope they upload the video they took. The actual performance…not much to say. UCC Theatre is tiny also. I guess I’m too used to the Hall. Anyway, at the debrief, it was pretty sweet when Harris(?) said that it’s a lot of the seniors last performance with us and then the choir suddenly broke out into a spontaneous rendition of Linden Lea. Awwww… Haha! NUS Choir rocks!

And, I managed to get started on my Grammaticalisation essay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! Got started and saw the light and a potential research point. Thank god! I don’t feel so overwhelmed by it anymore.

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Alright, now, on to a bit more unpleasant stuff. [rant]

You know, there are times when I totally agree with a lot of the rest of the church regarding Jubilate choir being elitist and showing attitude. Take the upcoming Chrism Mass for instance. For those who don’t know, the Chrism Mass happens on Holy Thursday and in this mass, all the priests gather to con-celebrate with the Archbishop, renew their priestly vows and to bless the sacramental oils used for the cathecumun, confirmation and anointing of the sick. Quite a big event involving the entire archdiocese in Singapore. 150 priests. And this year, St Stephen’s was fortunate enough to be chosen as the church to host this event, traditionally celebrated at the Cathedral. What’s more, St Stephen’s just finished the church renovation, so, from an outsider POV, the Church’s eyes are on st Stephen’s and expectations will be high.

So, let’s talk about the combined choir. This choir’s to be helmed by Paul and Valerie from the Saturday Evening Cantus Firmus Choir. On the first practice, I was more or less horrified that I was the only one coming from Jubilate. Even the lao pok Sunday Evening choir sent a sizeable group. On that day, Uncle X also looked a little taken aback and asked what happened to the rest of my choir. So I said the excuse, oh you know, Thursday morning, work day, school day. Then he said that he was hoping for the strength to come from us. I didn’t know how to answer. Was I to say that my members just weren’t interested to sing for this mass? (Don’t deny. This is the vibe I get. Do you expect the other choirs/congregation to think differently?) So anyway, I suppose Paul & Val just decided to deal with it and pull in their contacts from other churches to help make up strength. Then (whoopee) I was told 4 members would sing. on the Friday rehersal/run through with Fr Ignatius, only 1 of these showed up and he was giving out this ‘I don’t want to be here’ vibe. This coming Thursday is the actual event. Reporting time 8.30am for the 10.30am mass. Again the complaint, ‘what for come so early??’ I don’t even know how to respond to this anymore. Hello? This isn’t just any other old mass you know? (Anyway, sorry I’m singling you out in this rant. You just happened to be the last straw that pushed all my wrong buttons.)

As much as we might like to ‘organisationalise’ St Stephen’s, the fact is, it will never be the kind of organisation we want. We just have to deal with it and make it work. No matter what, we are a part of the church ministry, we have to work towards the good of the church and not for personal gain or glory. Jubilate’s image in this church is mixed and also growing exceedingly bad. From Uncle X’s comment quoted earlier, I can tell that there are those who look up to our choir and accept that we are good at what we do and we are going to be the future of the church (cliche but true). On the other hand, I was talking to a friend who had left Jubilate, asking why don’t she come back since she obviously wants to sing. Part of her reply that really stuck with me was this: “Your youths are different from our youths.” I felt so bad when she said this. After Friday’s rehersal, Aunty Y was commenting that it’s not fair that my members come and go as they please regarding the combined choir. Everyone else can take leave to come for rehersals and sacrifice time for this event. Why can’t we? Again, I don’t know how to answer.

Valerie never spoke to me regarding this issue but she sent me an sms that exuded a pissed vibe. But I get it. Having once been a conductor trying to manage a combined choir like this, it’s stressful. Add on to the fact that this is one of the biggest masses St Stephen will ever host. It’s not fair for her to have to source for members and worry about whether the members will be showing up or not. Last year the old Jubilate did something like this too during the Easter Vigil combined choir. They didn’t get back on whether they wanted to join or not and suddenly appeared en masse less than an hour before the actual Vigil mass expecting to be joining the choir’s singing. Choirs don’t work that way. Especially not for a choir singing for a mass that is a high mass and not a regular mass. Grow up. You know Peter Low’s choir? How did they manage to get themselves to the standard they are now? It’s because of tons of hard work and dedication. One of his members once said to me that Peter Low doesn’t allow his members to miss practice (even for regular masses). He’d kick out members who don’t take his choir seriously. This is a problem in our choir I think. That we take choir as a hobby and come and go as and when we like and we don’t take it seriously at all. The thing is, it’s not. This choir is like a job, only you don’t get paid. You have duties to fulfil and you do them and whatever’s associated with them.

Let me get back to the Chrism mass issue. It’s not about fun, like the Christmas mass or Easter Vigil mass. It’s much larger than that. Like I said, the whole archdiocese will be watching us. Watching. Judging. I happened to attend the LMC meeting and they brought up last year’s chrism mass. They were evaluating it. Evaluating the choir and the songs and how good it was. Do you really want people to talk bad about us? Will they look at the St Stephen’s combined choir and cringe? How many of them are actually from St Stephen’s? Not many. What disappoints me most today was when one of my members said, “I’m just doing this as a favour to you. They’ve got enough people. Why do I still need to be around?” Maybe I misunderstood (hopefully), but I saw that as – there’s nothing in it for me, no recognition or benefit or anything so why should I attend?

Ok, I admit, it’s very hard to do extra things that you think won’t do you good. But that’s why people seem unhappy with our choir I think. We’re too self centered for our own good and the other church people don’t like it. We can talk all we like about wanting to be more welcoming and supportive and inspirational etc etc. But are we actually doing anything about it? It’s not about adaptation anymore, or expecting others to change for us and adapt to us. It’s about swallowing our pride and changing our own attitudes enough to fit in with the rest of the church. We have to stop being have such a “me” attitude in this church. Not just the self centeredness, we have to get rid of this, ‘you’re all not good enough for me’ attitude. A combined choir is NOT Jubilate plus some other random people and we have to stop thinking that way. St Stephen’s doesn’t revolve around us.

And one more thing, stop making stupid comments about the Saturday Evening choir members. SHE can sing miles better than anyone in Jubilate can and you know it. Even the tone deaf girl. At least she shows a level of commitment to the choir that NONE of us show. So stop criticising people (especially not publicly) unless you think you can do better. Even then, you better prove it or else just shut up.

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So, I don’t know if this rant is going to do any good. I just feel like I have to say something and I’ve said it and I’m done here. [/rant]

So. There goes the mid semester break. I didn’t accomplish much. Sadly. Sort of, like 90% finished my 2 cinematic discourse essays. I think they suck. So not up to standard. No readings done. slacked till like mid week.

Oh man, I think I’m losing my voice again. Today was an interesting day for singing. I NAILED MY PSALM!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! Of course, it helped a lot that today’s psalm was one that I’ve been wanting to sing for ages. AND it’s a nice tune. Haha! So yeah. I got that.

Then there’s the practice for the Chrism mass. Omg! Still can’t wrap my mind around it that it’s gonna be held in SS this year. I’m the freaking only representative of 10am choir in there. *rolls eyes* We SO need a dose of spicing up. The hymns are freaking B-O-R-I-N-G! The only fun song (IMO) is “Laudate Dominum” the Eucharistic Congress one. And we’re singing the chorus of that one in Latin.

Paul was showing the video of his baby son awake at 1am. So cute! haha! very active and vocalising at 3 months. Wow.

The choir is freakin small lah (only about 20). Me, Marion and Marion’s friend Claire are the only three youths. Ther rest are the older ones. It’s SO not going to look nice on the day. And I’m really worried about the standard of singing. I don’t know what Valerie’s hearing from up front, but from where I am, it’s pretty scary. Everyone’s just blasting and there’s that distinctive ”auntie” singing voice coming through. Know what I mean? It’s not blending right and not sounding nice. But that’s just me.

K. The comp is lagging like crazy cos I’m running some programme right now. So, I’ll stop blogging for now. Haha! Back to school tomorrow. Choir too. Hehe!

Oh, and there goes another friend who’s gone overseas to study. This one in NZ.  Omg. Jealousy flairs again. And she’s gone overseas to realise her dream. *sigh*

Alright, so. I prepared this entry in school while waiting for class to start. Supposed to blog about the concert. For those who don’t know, Varsity Voices is the NUS Choir’s annual concert. This year, our theme was “Temptations”. According to what the MC said last night, it had something to do with exploring desires – desires for peace, love, dreams, hope, revenge… Yup. Definitely more interesting than last year.

So anyway, began preparing since last semester. Remember the first song the newbies learnt was Luk Luk Lumbu. Back then, the choir was still so high from Pattaya. Which was a good thing cos things went really well. Then we began with the Missa brevis by Haydn. The Imperial Nelson mass. No. Nothing to do with Nelson Kwei being our conductor. even though we did make fun of it for a while on that account. It was surprisingly easy, considering the crazy super long notes of Te Deum (our last Haydn piece. Check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyYXGjbM0GE). Only the poor soprano solos part was typically Haydn in that way. I’ll always associate the Nelson mass with Scott for some reason.

We were supposed to do 3 Argentinian pieces. Thank goodness for Filipe’s presence to help with pronunciation. Our very own Spanish tutor. Those three songs were sources of major headaches and pissyness. Especially La Doble, which fortunately, didn’t make the final cut. Thank god. One less song to figure out and memorise.

Then there were the three Japanese songs. Shima E was a piece of cake. Super easy since we’d already brought it to competition once before. Chiisana and Tsubasa were deceptively simple. Notes wise, they were both very simple. But for some strange reason, they were quite difficult to execute for real. But Nelson seemed quite happy with the concert performance. He said Chiisana was the best rendition we had done of it thus far. Lol!!

Anyway, I think I said before, this weekend was super super busy. Saturday had almost a full day of rehersals in which we came to the UCC and got things ready. Nothing much about backstage. One of the juniors commented, while we were sitting around in the dressing room, that it felt like being in a movie trailer. In a way, it did. It felt like being in a film. It felt detached and unreal. We were all like, “OMG! The concert’s tomorrow?!?!” It still felt like weeks away.

The standing positions finally got finalised and we had like 5 different positions to remember. And we had to remember when to be in what position, which part of the tiers to stand, what to do when entering and exiting and manuvering in the dark backstage. Freak load of memory work on top of remembering songs. Paulus was acting really funny after dinner when he was going to Cheers with some of the other guys. Obviously he was saying something that he shouldn’t have been cos he was like, “Irene, Dharini, you look so pretty today. You want me to help you buy anything from Cheers?” in that kind of you-didn’t-see-anything voice. Lol! Wonder what he was talking about.

Overall, the rehersal run went well though it was scary singing in the UCC hall. Could barely hear anyone else. Felt pretty exposed up there too. We kept making mistakes like singing in the wrong key (Yikes!) or coming in wrong. >.< Yeah. Anyway, the night ended like around 10.30pm with one of KK’s legendary speeches.

Next day Sunday. Concert Day! So freaking tired. Had more tech runs but luckily, no singing rehersal. For some funny reason, everyone was frantically practicing/figuring out Orde-E. Yeah. It was kinda cute. While we were sitting at the UCC courtyard waiting for everyone to arrive, there was a spontaneous Orde-E practice session. The guys just started singing (practicing on their own at the other table) and then the girls just decided to join in. It was kind of nice when we weren’t blasting out nasally.

Ya. The tech run was alright. Did the lighting and all that. It went fine until Terrance’s songs when he wanted to run through his two songs. Ok, Orde-E went well. It was Bal-Laygi. I don’t know why (couldn’t hear much from where I was), but at the end of Huai Zhi’s solo, Terrance suddenly started laughing uncontrollably. Or rather, he was frantically trying to control and he’s conducting and his whole face was turning red from suppressing his laughs. And the girls started to giggle a little and the sound went a bit off. They managed to pick it up later. But Adyll was NOT pleased. He was so pissed he gave one of those cryptic one line scoldings. That was probably the worst part of the entire weekend. You know, the problem with him is that, even though he apologises afterwards for being a bitch, he always does it again and again and again. I know he means well but it seriously pisses other people off.

Moving on. Was surprisingly fast in changing and getting ready for dinner and make up and everything else. That’s the good thing about having no long hair to bun. Amanda and Joanne were giving out roses. And everyone else was busy hypering and taking photos and putting on make up. The usual pre-concert bustle. So super nervous while waiting out the corridor, standing by to go backstage. Su San sprained her ankle and had to be in a wheelchair for the whole night. Aw girl. But she sang beautifully.

The concert itself started five minutes late. :p Common occurance. Anyway, I found it funny that the MCs comment after Missa Brevis was, “Wow, that was a wonderously long song.” Lol!!! Yeah. Adit played the piano so well. Omg! Didn’t have too many mistakes with Missa. Nelson seemed pleased. The hall was not very full. Only the first level was 3/4 full. Oh well. Saw Adrian. How could I miss him? He was wearing a light coloured t-shirt and there was no way he could hide in the darkness. So, spotted him instantly.

Then after missa, ran back to change for the second half. Lol! That was fun. The altos were changing all over the dressing room cos the toilet was full. Ok, I was fast and managed to get a toilet to change in. The rest of them were like stripping in the room (of course after kicking Glenn out), hiding in the cupboards and changing there. I was thinking that 15 minutes was not going to be enough time. But there was.

Went back for second half. I think we did alright for the Kodaly pieces. Nothing to shout about. The Japanese pieces were not bad! Like I said before, Nelson was so happy with Chiisana. He gave us the thumbs-up signal. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do that. Haha! Unfortunately, I think some people left after the first half. :p Then was Adyll’s pieces. Again, nothing much to say about it. It went well.

Then back out to get ready for the Filipino songs. You know, I think it didn’t take too long in real time but standing backstage waiting for the guys to be ready with their batik seemed like forever. I don’t know what the MCs were saying but it sounded like long storytelling. Went back out. Orde-E was good. One of our best I think, considering the horrific screw ups the night before. Unfortunately, Bal-Laygi was our worst. *sob* We went completely off key after Huai Zhi’s solo and didn’t managed to find our way back. It was a jumble of sour notes all the way till the end. I think we just didn’t practice that song enough. Terrance didn’t do it very much. So, I think we may have lost the feel. Or else the audience had fallen asleep by then. There was a lot of silences after the songs ended. It was like the audience not sure to clap or not so kept quiet. It was a little freaky.

Luk Luk Lumbu, the last song of the night. Yes. First and last time you’ll see Irene dancing on stage. Lol! It was fun! I wish we could do Luk Luk every year. It would be so much more interesting for the audience. But, time seemed to go by so fast and in a flash, suddenly I found myself doing the last pose for Luk Luk. And then the concert was over. All the clapping and thanking everyone. Thank goodness Aunty Mary wore long pants this year instead of her previous years bermudas. Haha!! She’s so cute. Adit was given a HUGE blue stuffed dog. Also another cute one. Haha! So yeah, then Nelson gave his customary Linden Lea speech and we put the audience back to sleep with Linden Lea. We should NOT finish with that song lah! It’s such an anti-climax.

Well, and then the concert was really over. The past one year of exhausting practice culminated in these two exhilirating hours on stage. Phew!

On to Grand Prix @ St Petersburg next!

Phew. This was probably one of the most tiring weekends ever. Well, the concert’s finally over. It flew by so fast this year. Don’t know why. Anyway. It was not the best performance we could have given. Bal-laygi was hopelessly out of tune. Nelson was freaking tickled that we were singing that in like 4 different keys. There were other screw ups here and there and tempers flaring during rehersals. :p Also, a lot of cam-whoring by the usual people.

Yup. Feeling high right now but not quite in the mood to blog. So hopefully the concert blog will come later on. haha!

I think it was one of the most fun VVs ever!